2018-09-12 / Editorials

What I’m afraid of ...

All That’s Fit to Print
Brenda Wall

Fear, I often tell my bossier friends, is a powerful motivator. While that might be true when it comes to dealing with folks, fear of things not human can do quite the opposite. Scary things can downright paralyze us. What scares us varies.

I am not afraid of much. The things that give me pause are things I cannot understand or cannot control. The things that make me change direction are all too common.

Pressure cookers — I am sure these will blow up my house. While I might could get one going, I’d be afraid to go back in the kitchen once it got going. All that hissing and spitting and the rattling little knob on top seem a little too much like a bomb gone bad to me. My mama loved cranking up a pressure cooker. I wonder now if it had more to do with getting children out from underfoot than whatever it is a pressure cooker is supposed to do.

I think now they call them instant pots maybe to make them less scary. Business renamed girdles and now these are called shapewear. I can breathe just typing this paragraph.

Wasps and hornets — they are just straight mean. I cannot figure them out. A person can be walking along, minding their own business and out of nowhere comes a mad, attacking little flying thing that feels like a tomahawk missile hitting dead on target. I really hope it is true wasps die after they sting. It is only fitting.

There are people brave enough and not scared of little buzzing things. They pull out a tissue and gently grab the buzzing stinging thing and take it outside and let it fly away.

I-75 on Easter weekend — retired Yankees and other snowbirds are heading back north. They all drive big cars or motor homes. They spread out across all three lanes of traffic and mosey along bobbing their heads to the tunes of Lawrence Welk. This makes the truck drivers angry. It is not pretty.

Malls — I’m not really afraid of malls but I have a hard time breathing around all those people talking and walking and buying things they don’t need. I get anxious because people do not walk in an orderly manner. All the people on the right should go one direction and all the people on the left the other. Instead, they walk like the retired Yankees drive.

Little babies — I am not so much afraid of the babies. It is my effect on them. New mamas offer me the baby to hold and I know if I so much as touch the infant, a screaming fit will commence. Newborn babies may not know much, but they can spot incompetence a mile away. I am much better with puppies.

Yesterday was Sept. 11. I was trying not to speak of the horrors and fear of Sept. 11, 2001. That was fear, real fear. And then, there was Benghazi on Sept. 12, 2012.

Remember and never forget.

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